Letter to Timothy

Dear Timothy,

Huh...I'd have never thought that a song I have so fervently made fun of for a few years now would have found a new meaning in my life. Right now I am in the midst of weaning from a very powerful drug and you are catching the brunt of my symptoms. All you want to do is "cuggle" and read books with me, but right now anyone coming within a foot of my personal space is likely to catch a right hook upside the head. I have very little patience for anything and you, being two, already push every single button possible in a mommy's life.

Like I said, I never thought that a song I hated so much would find it's way into my life at just the moment I needed to hear it - and I found a new meaning in it and for us.

"I hope you know, I hope you know, that this has nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I, we've got some straightenin' out to do."

Truly, Timmy, it has nothing to do with you. You've been sweet and loving, funny and joyful. You always know how to make me laugh and your super duper bear hugs are such a comfort when I'm at the end of my rope.

I love you, Baby Boy.

"Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to, cuz I want to hold yours too."

Love, Mommy

Another Milestone

So I'm in the shower, happy for a moment's peace while the kids watch Backyardigans downstairs, all gated up and locked in. I step into the shower and I hear Timmy talking to me. The curtain swings open and he grins at me. This means that either he or Wriley knocked the gate down. I try to hurry because Natalie has been learning how to go up the steps but isn't very steady on them yet. She made it up five or six steps yesterday and I didn't want her to start climbing and then fall down the stairs.

As I wash my hair in super speed, I hear a giggle. This isn't the giggle of a little boy, but the proud giggle from a little girl. "Man, she's loud," I think to myself, assuming she's at the bottom of the stairs. The curtain swings open again and I see the grin of a little girl who has made it up both sets of stairs to join me in the bathroom. Yep, I officially have a stair-climber!

BTDT Moms, I need your help!

I feel like I'm losing it over here. Natalie's sleep habits have gotten all screwy and it's really hard these days to get her to take a really good nap and at night it's hard to get her to go to sleep without having to let her cry - and even when we do let her cry, it's unbearable because her cries sound like she's in agony. Last night I ended up sleeping in the chair with her all night like she was a newborn. It was the only way I could get her to sleep and let me get some sleep too.

All morning Natalie has cried and cried and she's been hysterical. The only time I got a break from her crying is when I took the kids on a walk and had her in the Sleepy Wrap. I couldn't keep her in the wrap for too long because my back was already sore from the gym yesterday. I had her totally asleep this morning after I nursed her and got her into the crib and like always, she immediately woke up and screamed. If I didn't have to take care of Timmy, too, I would have loved to just held her and rocked her while she slept but I can't do that very well with him up too. It's so frustrating!

I'm honestly not sure if it's separation anxiety, another ear infection, or reflux. A few times last week after I nursed her in the morning she spit up, something she hasn't done since she was just a couple months old. She just can't be consoled, even when she's held. It's like she has colic at nine months old.

If anyone has any advice (nicely given please) or even just some comforting words, I'll take it!