Saying Goodbye

Death is such a hard concept to understand for anyone, let alone a preschooler, so the fact that my kids have had to say goodbye to not just one but two people they were very close to this year is too much for this momma to take.

Back in the spring, Chris's Grandpa passed away. Great Grandpa Joe was nearly 90 and we loved him dearly. The kids spent a few times each month being able to see him during our regular Sunday dinners with the family. He was always so funny - all the kids were boys and were mostly referred to as "little shavers" "tykes" and things like that. When he passed away the kids hadn't ever had to deal with death before. They were with us every step of the way during the grieving process, visitation, and funeral. They asked a lot of great questions and were now aware that life doesn't go on forever, at least not here on Earth. 

The kids spent the next few months talking about death and dying. The questions they would ask made them seem much older than their two and four year old selves. They weren't innocent anymore; they were now understanding things that a lot of adults have never even had to deal with yet. Natalie, especially, had grown an almost macabre obession with death. In Samuel's Childrens' Bible, she found the story about Jesus dying on the cross and asked us to read this to her every day, sometimes more than once. 

On this particular July afternoon, Natalie got very serious and asked me why Jesus was crying. I explained that he was sad because his friends betrayed him and he had to die on the cross to save us from our sins. She got really upset that her Baby Jesus died so I tried to explain that one day we would get to meet Him when we died. I guess this was the wrong thing to say because my precious two year old burst into tears and started sobbing, "But, I don't wanna die!" 

After awhile their obsessions passed and they were back to being happy preschoolers. Now three, Natalie was able to start going to preschool as well. She already knew the teachers from all of the mornings we'd pick Timmy up from school the year before. She was so excited to go and fell in love with the teachers and made a lot of new friends. She and Timmy are both doing great in school this year. 

Sadly, this afternoon we received the devastating news that their beloved teacher, Mrs. Blanksma, passed away this morning. I was in complete shock and had no idea how to react. At the time I not only had my two kids, but two of their friends were over as well who were also in their preschool classes and knew and loved Mrs. Blanksma. It wasn't my place to tell my friend's kids about their teacher passing, so we had to make a lot of fun this afternoon. We watched a movie, played the Wii, ate a yummy snack, and took a drive out to a covered bridge to play for awhile. 

This evening after I dropped their friends off, we sat down to tell Tim and Nat about their teacher. I explained that this morning Mrs. Blanksma went to Heaven. Timmy said, "You mean she died?" He was getting teary. Chris and I were both tearing up too - it's never easy to lose someone you love - especially someone who plays such an important role in your children's lives. I explained that her heart had gotten sick and stopped working but that she was now in Heaven with Great Grandpa and they were friends and weren't lonely. When I tried to explain to Natalie that Mrs. Blanksma wasn't going to be at preschool anymore, Timmy got upset and said, "But I want her to come back!" This is when I lost it. In fact, I'm almost crying again just typing this up. Natalie, of course being the little comic relief, said, "Can we have her hamster?"

The kids took it in, were quiet for a few minutes and then were on their way. I wish adults could be that resilient. I'm still reeling from the news. Mrs. Blanksma will be missed by everyone who was ever able to know her. She was an amazing woman, teacher, and friend. I will miss being able to send her a quick email just to find out how the kids were doing at school. She always had a lot of great advice for me, especially when struggling with what to do with certain behaviors the kids were displaying. She was always happy to chat about anything from Jimmy's Grill to the Grand Lady Riverboat to what the kids had for snack that day at school. She always made sure her students and their families were taken care of and I will miss seeing her every day and I know the kids will too. I am just so grateful that the other teachers at the school are just as wonderful and caring as Mrs. Blanksma was. I know that they will carry on the traditions and will always take the time to care about their students. 

Now, please, let my kids have a break from having to say goodbye to the people they love. They are three and four and need to be kids - not young adults learning life lessons.