Band-Aids Fix Everything

Ever since I got home from the hospital (will post the whole story eventually), the kids have been obsessed with things like shots and getting poked and blood and all that icky stuff. Today the kids insisted that their beloved Pillow Friends, Panda and Rhino, needed to be fixed.

Timmy's Rhino is actually in need of some doctoring. The last time we washed him two of his feet (paws? hooves?) ripped open a little bit. Timmy made me find him some special band-aids for Rhino and he very tenderly took care of his best buddy.

Natalie's Panda lost her tail a long time ago, so that, along with Panda's ears, needed to be fixed. Nothing is really wrong with Panda's ears, but Natalie insisted they were broken, so band-aids were the cure. 

I am really hoping this obsession with blood and all the icky stuff goes away soon. The other night Natalie told me she couldn't go to school the next day because she had blood in her throat. Timmy had to tell me all about how he fell down and was bleeding at a friend's house. I, for one, have had enough blood talk to last me a long time. 

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen: Things I have learned about Pulmonary Embolisms

Here is a great site that really explains what PEs are: http://www.webmd.com/lung/tc/pulmonary-embolism-topic-overview

1. The pain is like no other pain I have felt. Any time I have pain of some sort I always say, "This is the worst pain I have ever been in." This time I meant it. And I have had three children, appendicitis, and gall bladder attacks.

2. I will learn to do things I never thought I'd ever have to do - for example, give myself injections in my stomach. Thankfully today is the last day that I will have to do that.

3. I will endure some really gross moments, like the first ten minutes every morning when I cough up blood.

4. I will have some sort of survivor's guilt in knowing that my kids' teacher passed away from this at the same time I survived it. It's not fair. It really isn't.

5. I will be poked more times in a few days than in the rest of my life put together. Between blood draws, IVs, and injections, I estimate that I have been poked about 30 times in the last five days.

6. I will quickly get over caring what people think about my home or how I am dressed. All that matters is that people care about me and come to see me and help me.

7. I will have to make some huge changes that will change the rest of my life. I will always be at higher risk for blood clots now so I have to take precautions. This means no more birth control pills, no smoking (not that I have really done that in the last five years anyway), no alcohol (this is my decision - if I need to be healthy, alcohol is not the way to go - besides, with the drugs I am on, alcohol is probably not a wise idea), and really taking care to eat healthy and stay away from junk.

8. I will become attached to certain nurses and cry when their shift ends. I will also profess my love for them.

9. I will spend a great amount of time staring at nothing in particular because I am so doped up that I can't do anything else. I will also say things several times or not at all because I am not sure if I am saying things out loud or not.

10. I will come to terms with the fact that I nearly died. I will figure out what is important in my life and what is not and the things that are not important are really, really not important.

11. I will make a point to let the people in my life know how much I care for them and how much I appreciate everything they do. There may not be another chance to tell them. So, just to warn you, I may be extra sentimental over the next while, but I suppose that's better than being extra b*tchy.

12. I will realize that I am never alone and that I am loved. I will have the most amazing friends and family anyone could ask for and they will rally around me and pray for me and feed me and love me and take care of me and my family. I have something better than a "best friend" - I have amazing friends - more than one. I have people that will put their lives on hold to make sure my life is taken care of. I have never felt this kind of encouragement, support, and love in my entire life. I only hope that if the situation were reversed that I could be even half as awesome as the people who are taking care of me.

13. I will be humbled. I will have to let go of control and let God take over. I am not an overly religious person but I do find great comfort in having faith and hope in something Greater.

A Talk of Babies and Marriage

Timmy: Mommy, when Natalie gets older is she going to have a baby come out her tummy like you did?

Me: Well, maybe after she meets a boy she loves and they get married.

Timmy: Who is Natalie going to marry?

Me: I don't know. Who are you going to marry, Nat?

Natalie: You!

Me: But you can't marry me because I'm your mommy and I'm married to Daddy.

Natalie: Then I'm gonna marry Sammy.

Me: But you can't marry Sammy or Timmy either because they are your brothers. You have to marry someone you aren't related to. Is there a boy you like?

Natalie: I love Parker. I'm going to marry Parker.

TOOOTALLY saw that one coming.

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen - Thirteen Current Very Random Thoughts

1. I am very excited to get a gym membership again. I have really missed working out. Went yesterday with my G-Funk and she worked me good, man. Back is killing me!

2. Number one sounds very kinky.

3. This morning was rough. I'm really thankful that Chris is going to go with Timmy tomorrow morning so I don't have to do it again.

4. Every time someone passes away I miss my angels in heaven even more. Today I'm finding myself thinking about Betsy and Amber a lot more - two young woman who were taken to Heaven way too soon. Miss them more and more all the time and wonder what their lives would be like.

5. I am so excited to get a Christmas Tree but at the same time I don't want one. I already have to chase kids out of rooms and off furniture, I am not looking forward to keeping little hands away from the tree.

6. I had two of the kids best buddies here yesterday. You'd think having five kids in the house would be crazy, but I enjoy it. K&P were really helpful yesterday (when they weren't stealing my lemonade!). K helped me put away dishes and P helped me hang up Christmas lights.

7. Sometimes I feel like I'm always the one helping others out - like taking my mom shopping and things like that - and then I feel like no one helps me out in return. I know this isn't true - and the biggest reason for this is because I don't ask for help. Why is it so easy to offer help for others but it's so hard to ask for help when I need it? I really need to get over my pride and ask for help when I need something.

8. I really wanna know how it's possible for Natalie to pee all over the floor in front of the toilet but still poop in the potty at the same time.

9. Scratch that...I don't wanna know.

10. I think that of all my insane pet peeves and annoyances, being ignored is my number one. The kids are pros at this (as are a few other people I know).

11. I love writing. I'm glad that I've started to get back into blogging again even if it's not trendy anymore. It's a great way to work through my feelings and thoughts especially since I am really bad at talking about things. I am definitely an "internalizer" when it comes to "getting in touch with my feelings." This way I can write and get it out and move on. I may not be the best writer (I am always ending my sentences with prepositions) but who cares? What I'm saying is much more important than how I'm saying it.

12. I've had this awesome blog theme for a year now - I think I need a blog revamp soon. Maybe Buddy can help me with it again :)

13. I love the number 13. My boys and I are 13s.

Saying Goodbye

Death is such a hard concept to understand for anyone, let alone a preschooler, so the fact that my kids have had to say goodbye to not just one but two people they were very close to this year is too much for this momma to take.

Back in the spring, Chris's Grandpa passed away. Great Grandpa Joe was nearly 90 and we loved him dearly. The kids spent a few times each month being able to see him during our regular Sunday dinners with the family. He was always so funny - all the kids were boys and were mostly referred to as "little shavers" "tykes" and things like that. When he passed away the kids hadn't ever had to deal with death before. They were with us every step of the way during the grieving process, visitation, and funeral. They asked a lot of great questions and were now aware that life doesn't go on forever, at least not here on Earth. 

The kids spent the next few months talking about death and dying. The questions they would ask made them seem much older than their two and four year old selves. They weren't innocent anymore; they were now understanding things that a lot of adults have never even had to deal with yet. Natalie, especially, had grown an almost macabre obession with death. In Samuel's Childrens' Bible, she found the story about Jesus dying on the cross and asked us to read this to her every day, sometimes more than once. 

On this particular July afternoon, Natalie got very serious and asked me why Jesus was crying. I explained that he was sad because his friends betrayed him and he had to die on the cross to save us from our sins. She got really upset that her Baby Jesus died so I tried to explain that one day we would get to meet Him when we died. I guess this was the wrong thing to say because my precious two year old burst into tears and started sobbing, "But, I don't wanna die!" 

After awhile their obsessions passed and they were back to being happy preschoolers. Now three, Natalie was able to start going to preschool as well. She already knew the teachers from all of the mornings we'd pick Timmy up from school the year before. She was so excited to go and fell in love with the teachers and made a lot of new friends. She and Timmy are both doing great in school this year. 

Sadly, this afternoon we received the devastating news that their beloved teacher, Mrs. Blanksma, passed away this morning. I was in complete shock and had no idea how to react. At the time I not only had my two kids, but two of their friends were over as well who were also in their preschool classes and knew and loved Mrs. Blanksma. It wasn't my place to tell my friend's kids about their teacher passing, so we had to make a lot of fun this afternoon. We watched a movie, played the Wii, ate a yummy snack, and took a drive out to a covered bridge to play for awhile. 

This evening after I dropped their friends off, we sat down to tell Tim and Nat about their teacher. I explained that this morning Mrs. Blanksma went to Heaven. Timmy said, "You mean she died?" He was getting teary. Chris and I were both tearing up too - it's never easy to lose someone you love - especially someone who plays such an important role in your children's lives. I explained that her heart had gotten sick and stopped working but that she was now in Heaven with Great Grandpa and they were friends and weren't lonely. When I tried to explain to Natalie that Mrs. Blanksma wasn't going to be at preschool anymore, Timmy got upset and said, "But I want her to come back!" This is when I lost it. In fact, I'm almost crying again just typing this up. Natalie, of course being the little comic relief, said, "Can we have her hamster?"

The kids took it in, were quiet for a few minutes and then were on their way. I wish adults could be that resilient. I'm still reeling from the news. Mrs. Blanksma will be missed by everyone who was ever able to know her. She was an amazing woman, teacher, and friend. I will miss being able to send her a quick email just to find out how the kids were doing at school. She always had a lot of great advice for me, especially when struggling with what to do with certain behaviors the kids were displaying. She was always happy to chat about anything from Jimmy's Grill to the Grand Lady Riverboat to what the kids had for snack that day at school. She always made sure her students and their families were taken care of and I will miss seeing her every day and I know the kids will too. I am just so grateful that the other teachers at the school are just as wonderful and caring as Mrs. Blanksma was. I know that they will carry on the traditions and will always take the time to care about their students. 

Now, please, let my kids have a break from having to say goodbye to the people they love. They are three and four and need to be kids - not young adults learning life lessons. 

Thursday Thirteen

Time again for Thursday Thirteen. Maybe this time I'll actually remember number thirteen. It is Thanksgiving, no less, so I thought this week I would make my theme Thirteen People I am Thankful to have in my Life. If you are not on the list right now, it is not personal - these are just people that in the last few weeks/months have really shown me great care, help, understanding, friendship, love, etc.

1. Chris. Well, duh, of course. He's my husband and most recently has been awesome for taking care of me and the kids while we've been super sick. He took time off of work, worked at home, stayed up late, cleaned up puke, made random runs to the store, etc - all to keep us feeling better. Thank you.

2. Erika & Jodi. (See this is my way of fitting more than 13 people on my list) - My sisters - I love you. We've been through so much the last month - so crazy - and I feel like it's only brought us closer together. I can't imagine my life without you.

3. Timmy, Natty, Sammy (Like I said - fitting more than 13 people on my list) - My three babies - You can't read this and who knows if someday you ever will, but my gosh...you drive me crazy - but in a good way. You wouldn't drive me crazy at all if you didn't mean anything to me. My life is so much better because you are in it. My heart is full. I see you - hold you - kiss you - and I can't believe you're mine.

4. Mom. Honestly...I didn't know if you'd be here right now for me to tell you how much you mean to me. I love you more than life itself. I get so angry at you and can't stand to have you near me, but I love you with every fiber of my being. You're my mom and nothing in my life would ever be the same if you weren't there for me to annoy.

5. Dad & Cherie - Thank you soooo much for being the solidity in my life. The two adults that were always there for me and molded and shaped me into the adult I am today. Yeah, I'm pretty awesome - and I have you two to thank for that. Thanks so much for helping us out with the kids - especially when I'm sick and you come out to spend time with them so that I can rest or go to the doctor. You have no idea how appreciative I am. Thank you for the influences you have had in my life because without them I'd be pretty loserly.

6. Beth - I really wish we were able to hang out more than we do. It's not every day you meet a friend that you threaten to "bash one's head with a phone" and sing them their own special song in front of EVERYONE all in the same breath. Thanks for still laughing with me about the former and smiling with me about our own little inside joke about the latter. I really miss you - miss seeing you - but am so glad to have you at my beckon call through facebook and text. Thanks for always being there even if we're not able to actually see each other more than twice a year...which by the way is LAME-O since you live like 8 minutes away.

7. Lindsey H - WOW who knew that after only a couple months of actually knowing each other you'd be all the way up to number....seven......on the list LMAO. But honestly, I don't think anyone has listened to me, helped me, been there...etc...as much as anyone has for me in the last few months. You were there when I needed someone the most last month and you know that my kids adore you "auntie" and your family - and that is just as important to me as anything. Thanks for everything - picking up kids, late night texts, play dates, etc. Now....if we could just have that L&L wine time!!!! Seriously - have we EVER HUNG OUT?

8. Dalon...My Dally dally ally ally alon. for reals. where would this list be if you weren't on it? You know why 2012 was the best? Because I got to see you IN PERSON for the first time in SEVEN YEARS!!! I miss you like crazy. Though you know we'd probably be at each others' throats if we saw each other every day. We're just too much alike to not be like that LOL!! I'm so thankful for you - and how much you care even from thousands of miles away. I miss and love you so much.

9. Lindsey S - Who knew that a dog and JM would ever have brought you into my life? You always make me laugh and I know that you're always just a phone call away - I miss you and we really need to get together. Natty misses her Ky-yee!!! and I miss my Yindzee!!! :) hehe. Thanks for seriously always making me laugh...and giraffe legs...and ice cubes for my kids to be addicted to :D

10. Buddy Lesha....BUDDY LESHA...what can I say that you don't already know? For real! You know you are the best. I miss our daily chat times - and how you would know I was watching Boy meets World while chatting because it'd take me ten minutes to reply...we made (and still do make) the most awesome team ever. fo' realz. fo realz. mmmhmmmm i mean who makes better challenges than us!?!? thanks for listening to me and always being there when I freak out.

11. My Brothers/Sisters/InLaws in general - I love you all - thanks for just being you!!!

12. JM & GP Peeps - Again - I love you all - you've put up with so much crap from me LOL!! thanks for always listening, backign me up, setting me straight, etc. You are awesome!

13. Amy - I almost forgot you and I'm sorry!!! jeesh. Thanks for always being in my life for the last like what...13 years!? You are officially my "oldest" friend - and the one that shares something special with me....oh you thought I was gonna bring up village inn 2001? Hell no!!! It's gotta be ARBY'S when me, you and heather yelled WAZZUP to the people working there...OMG. yeah we did that. I heard Merry Christmas Darling on the radio yesterday and I thought of you. You're just that awesome. So thank you.


Of course I have so many other people who should be on my list, but here is the current list. Like I said, don't be offended...yadda yadda....blah blah blah.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Thursday Thirteen

Here's my Thursday Thirteen for 11.15.12

Theme: 13 Random Things About Liza

1. I own my own pair of bowling shoes, a bowling ball, and a bowling bag. I average a whopping 50 every game I play but I love it. I love to go bowling so on the very first date I ever went on I chose to go bowling...little did I know that he was on a league and would score 265....good lord that was humiliating.

2. I am an incredibly loyal, compassionate and giving friend. I don't do it to be annoying - I just care a lot about people and only do what I would hope someone would do for me. I believe in Karma. What goes around comes around. But even then if Karma didn't exist, I'd still bend over backwards for the people I love.

3. I just beat Simon's Quest in 20 minutes. Sad.

4. I love Bluegrass music. Sue me. Seriously, it's just so happy.

5. I used to be a phenom when it came to gymnastics - I even had an audition set up in Chicago way back when to join a circus on the swing trapeze but due to typical Michigan weather I never made it. I'm glad that I missed it though because my life ended up being so much better here in Michigan.

6. Despite the mention of gymnastics above, I am an incredible klutz. I fall down and/or up the stairs constantly. I walk into walls and trip on nothing. I have mad injury skills. I have had two sets of stitches in my head alone.

7. Once upon a time I could speak relatively fluent Spanish. I can't speak it worth a darn now though I can understand a lot of it and I still dream in Spanish quite a bit.

8. I am scared of airplanes. I'm talking SCURRRED. Hate them.

9. Yeah, I'm a conspiracy theorist.

10. I am not a great employee - not because of my skills or my attitude - but because I walked out on a job, got fired from a job (though I took their butts to court and WON), and have been laid off on two jobs since that one - and then never returned to a job. Yeah...it's a good thing I'm a SAHM.

11. I love to crochet. I like to do stuff for other people but I don't want to be paid for it because it takes the fun out of it.

12. I am addicted to Gymbo & C8...oh...so you already knew this....

Thursday Thirteen

Hey it's Thursday! A looooong time ago someone used to run a blog game on Thursdays where you list Thirteen things - your choice of topic. I have no idea if that game is still going on anywhere, but I think I'll revive it for my own fun :)

Thursday Thirteen 11.8.12 - Thirteen Current Fave Songs

[one] Maybe - Alison Krauss http://youtu.be/qc8aydbK5Dg
[two] Best of Luck - Nickel Creek http://youtu.be/RjrlqYz8GAc
[three] The Rest Will Flow - Porcupine Tree http://youtu.be/SWbP1H-YmWc
[four] Crazy As Me - Alison Krauss http://youtu.be/YC8sBdox1RU
[five] Drown With Me - Porcupine Tree http://youtu.be/Zxccd6-H7cg
[six] Invincible - Muse http://youtu.be/PxXtQmy0RZY
[seven] Starlight - Muse http://youtu.be/Pgum6OT_VH8
[eight] Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple http://youtu.be/YsMZkCLxfkM
[nine] In Two Minds - Riverside http://youtu.be/AVbB0RKfPJY
[ten] Over My Shoulder - Mike & The Mechanics http://youtu.be/p1GkR54wQaM
[eleven] Velvet - A-Ha http://youtu.be/s8rf571J8cM
[twelve] Undun - Guess Who http://youtu.be/H_gxQt-bhik
[thirteen] Reflections of My Life - The Marmalade http://youtu.be/79NiN7ISW7E


Now that I've listed some songs, let's talk about them.

Alison Krauss. Nothing better. In my top five bands/musicians/singers.
Nickel Creek. Saw them with Fiona Apple. AWESOME. And Fiona has my bday :)
Porcupine Tree. Aside from The Beatles, they are my fave band ever. TRWF is my Sammy song. Have seen them four times. AMAZING EVERY TIME. OMG First time I saw them I was literally under Steven Wilson's bare feet. Heaven. Until some douche tried to get all up in my business.
Muse. LOVE. Saw them a few years back. An absolutely amazing show.
Riverside. Awesome prog.
A-Ha. Not just a one hit wonder.
Mike & The Mechanics. Made a nice little quiet transition from the 80s to the 90s. Nice music.
The Marmalade. Well I did name my camera after them. And after Joanne. hehe.
Guess Who. This is one of two songs I actually like by them. Otherwise they grate.

Where Have I Been?

Wow...I totally slacked on updating this thing! Part of me wants to just delete the whole thing but then I figure I'd eventually miss having a blog so I might as well keep it around for when I need to write. Right now Facebook took away my posting abilities because some "friend" decided to report two of my pics of the kids in the tub. There was NOTHING showing on these pics and what sucks that they were mobile pics that I don't have on my phone anymore so I'll never have those pictures back. FB already took away my video uploading abilities. What a bunch of crap.

Timothy and Natalie are both in preschool this year, just on different days. They love it and have so many friends and are doing really well. Timmy is 4.5 and Nat turned 3 in September. Samuel is now 15.5 months old and is the sweetest little munchkin. The only time he's really not content is when food is involved. He could eat and eat! He is really snuggly and really smart and is saying a lot of words these days.

Chris and I are doing well! He's super busy with work and I'm busy with the kids and being at the school nearly every day. I love it though. It keeps me from being too bored.

I guess the biggest thing that is going on in my life right now has to do with my mom - as usual. She has once again overdosed (she did this in May as well) in hopes of committing suicide. This time we are not letting her go back to living alone but getting her into an AFC home is not going to be easy especially if she decides to fight us. I'll be taking Abbey back to live with us (this will make the kids excited to have a cat again) which is probably going to be the hardest thing for Mom to deal with.

I sure hope to get back into the habit of writing in here again. I could always use a place to vent.

Bug Lover

Natalie is a very interesting, funny little girl. She is the perfect mix of girly-girl and tomboy. She wears a tutu every day and loves to sing, dance, and perform for anyone who will pay attention. She loves to have pretty dresses on and to have her hair done up with a big bow. Painted toenails and fingernails are a must with her.

Then she goes outside and the girly-ness ends. She loves to dig in the dirt, roll in the grass, and play ball with her dad and brother. Today she found a new love as well - bugs. Timmy found an ant on the front steps and said it was like ant on WordWorld. Natalie ran over to see her new friend. As soon as she saw him she picked him up in her hand and hugged her hands to her chest with a grin. "I love my ant! He is my new pet!" And off she ran with her new friend. I knew the ant would be dead within seconds and was hoping to avoid any meltdowns when her pet perished. Sure enough, ant was dead. Surprisingly, Natalie was unaffected by this. She set off to find a new friend and it didn't take her long to find a new pet.

This is Mr. Beetle. He was wiggling and trying to get free as soon as she picked him up, but she was not going to let him go. 

Showing me her new pet. 

Checking him out. His little antennae were waving around in despair. 

Hugging Mr. Beetle to death...literally. 

So another precious pet perished. So she found another ant...