Timmyisms: The Buffett Edition

Timothy Philip, age 5

"This is MY song, Mommy!" ~ while listening to Margaritaville in the van.

"Look, Mom! Eyeballs!" ~ while shopping in the laundry aisle and seeing the Tide pods.

"Look, Mom! That guy is wearing a bra!" ~ while looking at the ads on the side of Facebook.

"Mom, I wanna go outside and use my lookers to look at things that are really far away!" ~ after opening up binoculars for his birthday.

A Talk of Babies and Marriage

Timmy: Mommy, when Natalie gets older is she going to have a baby come out her tummy like you did?

Me: Well, maybe after she meets a boy she loves and they get married.

Timmy: Who is Natalie going to marry?

Me: I don't know. Who are you going to marry, Nat?

Natalie: You!

Me: But you can't marry me because I'm your mommy and I'm married to Daddy.

Natalie: Then I'm gonna marry Sammy.

Me: But you can't marry Sammy or Timmy either because they are your brothers. You have to marry someone you aren't related to. Is there a boy you like?

Natalie: I love Parker. I'm going to marry Parker.

TOOOTALLY saw that one coming.

Timmyism #13 - Classic Timmyisms

[one] While watching Youtube videos, the song We Will Rock You by Queen played. Timmy, very seriously, said, "This is a beautiful song."

[two} Chris took Timmy golfing last night. At one point one of Chris's balls ended up in the water and Timmy said, "That could be a big problem, Dad."

[three] Timmy was doing something sneaky and Chris asked Timmy what he was doing. Timmy answered, "Just being Timmy."

[four] Timmy and Natalie were playing with Natalie's Violet dog toy that sings. One of the songs came on that says Natalie's name and Timmy poked Natalie and said, "That's you!"

Timmyism #12 - All in One Day

This kid is absolutely full of it today!

[one] "Daddy is awesome because he has a peeper."

[two] "Mommy, I want some chocolate milk!"
"What makes you think you should have some chocolate milk?"
"Because I love you!"

Can't argue with that one...

[three] "I need some beer!"

[four] "Daddy, let's 'go crazy', can we play that?"

[five] "Would you like an ice cube?"
"Yes!"
"Yes..." (trying to get him to say 'yes, please')
"Yes sirree!"

And he still has a couple hours before bedtime! I wonder what else he'll come up with today.

Timmyism #11 - Jesus and Boobies edition.

Timmy just got up from nap and is already full of clever three year old logic that I had to put down before I forget it.

[one] Chris and Timmy were talking about Preschool Pier, Timmy's Sunday School class at church. According to Timmy, Preschool Pier is where, "Jesus loves pretzels and Jesus gives me pretzels."

[two] We were talking to Timmy about Baby Brother and Timmy started asking about what Baby Brother eats and how he eats. "Baby Brother eats Boobies," he told us. Sure, T. Eventually Baby Brother will eat boobies...

Timmyism #10 The Poop Edition

[one] "I'm pooping butterflies!" Said while *finally* pooping (the tiniest little poop) on the potty.

[two] He has been obsessed with pretending to be a dog lately. This includes doing his potties outside. He finds a pile of dog poop and pees on it. Awesome.

[three] Everything is poop lately. "Mommy are you pooping?" Asked while I'm standing in the kitchen. Yes, Timmy; I'm pooping in the kitchen.

Timmyism #9 Sunday Night Edition

[one] The kids are really into Jack's Big Music Show right now and they play a lot of Laurie Berkner videos. One of the songs she does is called In The Clouds and while watching this video Timmy told me, "I want to play in the clouds, Mommy!" So the other night when the kids were having a bath, I put in a lot of bubbles and told him that he was playing in clouds. This thrilled him.

[two] Our cat Abbey has the tendency to puke if she eats too much or too fast, so one morning last week when I got up and came downstairs, Timmy told me about how Abbey puked and he didn't want to eat the cat puke. EW.

[three] Timmy has been into telling "jokes" and making people laugh. During lunch one afternoon last week he suddenly started saying, "Natalie is a banana!" And the two of them would laugh hysterically. Then he said, "Mommy, you're a...PIANO!" Oh boy, I've got a funny little guy on my hands! At least he thinks so!

Timmyism #8

Oh that boy of mine! Some of the things that come out of his mouth are downright hilarious!

I thought it would be a good time to share some of these funny moments and lighten up the mood of my blog and remind me of just what a silly little boy I have.

[one] We went to see Chris's family for Easter and Timmy picked up on the fact that his cousins call his daddy "Uncle Chris." All week now, on and off, Timmy has been calling his daddy Uncle Chris.

Last night at dinner Timmy was doing his random rambles and at one point said to Chris, "You're Uncle Chris!" Then he turned to me and said, "And you're Uncle Mommy!"

[two] I don't have a specific example, but some of his most commonly used phrases lately have been "for a moment" and "is that a great idea?" Like if he is snuggling with one of us and we say we need to get up to do something, he says, "I think I will just sit here for a moment." Or if there is something he really wants to do, like go outside and play, he will tell us how it will be - "I'm gonna go outside and play with Wriley and drive the black car. Is that a great idea?"

[three] He also has his "words" that he uses all of the time. Awesome and cool are two of them. "Is that awesome, Mommy?" "This is a cool car! Is this a cool car, Mommy?"

[four] Everyone is his best friend lately. "Natalie is my best friend!" "Mommy, are you my best friend?"

[five] During rest time, he takes off his pants and snuggles with them.

[six] Super Super Super Duper. Timmy is Super Super Super Duper Bigger than Natalie.

Timmyism #7 (and beyond)

As I type this, Timmy is sitting in the chair next to me absolutely annoying the crap out of me. He is supposed to be napping right now and instead of napping he is bouncing off the walls, wired on some sort of Kid Juice. He didn't fall asleep 'til around 10pm last night (too much excitement outside) and was up at 4am coughing and wide awake as can be. Natalie is napping and Timmy will not stop talking, fake-hiccuping and coughing, and making animal noises. Why is it when I specifically ask him to the quiet for rest time he is louder than when it's okay for him to be up and around and playing!?

Anyway, he's still full of silly things to say, so I thought I'd share some again.

[one] Last night while we were putting laundry away, Timmy found his toy phone and had a conversation after I told him his phone was ringing:

"Hello? Who dere? No thank you. I need a pizza. Yeah I want pepperoni. Okay. Bye."

He gets done ordering his pizza and goes into our room to pick it up and brings back his imaginary pizza to share with us.

[two] This last week he has been really been lovin' on his sister. They walk through the house together holding hands and Timmy says he is taking her for a walk to go visit Daddy. He tries to pick her up and carry her and hugs her to the point that she gets upset. Of course, this is in between all the hitting, pushing, and biting.

Timmyism #6 (and more)

The Boy has been absolutely cracking us up lately! He says some of the funniest, most off-the-wall stuff sometimes. Sometimes what he says isn't funny, but how he says it is what makes us laugh.

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The other night we were having a very healthy Arby's dinner and some meat fell off of Timmy's sandwich. He picked up the meat and said, "Holy meat!"

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He and Natalie spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa C the other night and after we picked them up, all the way home Timmy kept talking about how he saw a tractor and it was beepin'. He's at the age where he repeats everything and even if you respond, he still keeps saying it. He kept saying, "It was beepin'. The tractor was beepin'. Something was beepin'. It was beepin'. It was beepin'."

Chris and I were trying to ignore him since we had already responded to this several times, but when Timmy said, "It was beepin'. Hoooooly beepin'," I totally lost it. I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard.

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Yesterday, I took Timmy with me to pick up their new car seats and Pink Floyd was on the radio.

"We love Pink Floyd!" I said to Timmy.

"I like Floyd. He's pink," Timmy replied. Goof.

On a related note, I taught Timmy how to say, "If you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"

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There have been many other funny things that Timmy has said recently, but I can't think of them at the moment. I do know that at dinner last night I said something and he responed with, "Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaat?"

Timmyism #5 (and then some)

On Monday we were getting ready to pick my mom up to spend the day with us and Timmy told me, "Mommy sit in back seat, Timmy DRIIIIIIVE!"

On Monday night, Timmy ripped his shorts off, balled them up, threw them across the room and yelled, "He shoots! He SCOOOORES!! YES!" Thank you, Twist, on Fresh Beat Band.

This morning as I changed his diaper, he told me, "There's a sheep!"
"There's a sheep?" I ask.
"Yes!"
"Where is the sheep?"
"In my bum bum!" He grins.
"There's a sheep in your bum bum?"
"Yes!"

That poor sheep.

Timmyism #4

Timmy is really working on his manipulation and lying skills. Today he has been sooo full of it!!

[one] This morning he asked to have some "ohs" (cheerios) for morning snack, so I got him a bowl of dry ohs and brought them to him. He, in typical toddler manner, started crying and yelled, "NO OHS!" I gently tell him, "You can have ohs because you asked for them, or you can have nothing. He keeps crying so I remind him again, ohs or nothing. He stops crying for a minute, smirks a little, and slyly responds, "OR a fruit bar." STINKER.

[two] He hates to get changed right now, especially if he's poopy. I always tell him that if he cooperates I can get done faster, and he's starting to understand but most of the time he still kicks and puts up a fight when he gets changed. Knowing all of this, when I asked if he was poopy and ready for a change I watched the corners of his mouth turn a little. He tried so hard not to smile when he told me, "No, Mommy, I no poopy." I peeked in his dipe and sure enough, he had himself a healthy poo. STINKER. literally.

[three] Timmy's absolute favorite TV show right now is The Fresh Beat Band. I am so sick to death of Beat Band I could puke, so when I needed him to watch a show so I could get some things done, he asks for Beat Band. I suggest his second favorite show, Team UmiZoomi. He says, "NO! Beat Band!" so I say, "How aboooouuuuuut....UmiZoomi!" He quickly replies, "How aboooooouuuuut, Beat Band!" STINKER!!!

Timmyism #3

It's way past Timmy's bedtime, but he's being so good we don't want to interrupt his fun playing. What is he doing?

"I drive black car!" This can go one of two ways - really good or really bad. Thankfully this time it's really good...and really funny! "I get my shoes."

"We're not going outside right now, Timmy," I tell him, but he is way ahead of me. He quickly steps into Daddy's work shoes, on the wrong feet of course. Then he says, "I get my keys!" To make him happy, I hand him Daddy's keys. He shuffles to the door and tries to turn the knob.

"I go to work now. Bye Mommy, see you later." After a minute he turns and shuffles across the room. "I home now. I go to food store." After a minute he turns around and announces, "I home now."

This whole scenario repeats itself for, well, we're going on twenty minutes now. Occasionally he stops to yell, "Bye Mom. See you later. Bye Daddy, Mommy. Bye, Mom, Dad." Then he adds, "Have a good shopping trip, Adios Daddy."

At one point he climbed onto one of his riding toys and tried to drive it with Daddy's shoes on, jingling the keys happily. He keeps telling us he's driving Daddy's black car.

Updating: Now he's not only going to work and to the food store, he's going downtown! This kid kills me.

Timmyism #2

Timmy: Bye, Mommy! See you later!
Me: Where are you going?
Timmy: I drive car to work! I go to work!
Me: Where do you go to work?
Timmy: Drive car to work.
Me: What do you do for your job?
Timmy: Drive cars!

Maybe he's a valet?

Timmyism #1

Timmy had been begging for a sucker all morning. He kept asking for one and I kept telling him no. Finally, I needed to change him so I told him, "Let's change you first then we can discuss a sucker." After I change him he looks up at me and says, "Let's talk about that sucker."