I have spent so much of my life being envious of other people. Other people have more friends, are prettier, wear nicer clothes, drive better cars, live in bigger houses, are more popular, are more successful, have cameras I want...but tonight I came to the realization that there is so much that other people might be envious of me for and I am totally blowing it off and taking it all for granted.
One thing might be my husband. Maybe not Chris specifically, but maybe that I am in a very loving, long-lasting relationship with a man that has always treated me better than I deserve. He's an awesome husband and an awesome daddy and I've been blessed to have been with him for almost ten years. Some people dream of finding that perfect someone and never find it, or maybe they found it but it didn't last.
Another thing - and this is a biggy - is my children. I've been blessed with not just one child, but two children, the "perfect" boy followed by a girl, and despite being a surprise, a third baby on the way. I'm realizing that as I'm finding myself losing it with my kids several times a day, there are women who long to be able to yell at their kids and go through the exhaustion and sickness of pregnancy. Some women never experience being a mother to a little boy and I have one and others never experience being a mother to a little girl, and I have one of those too. Some women never experience being a mother at all and it's all they ever dream of being and here I am complaining to myself that I threw up yet again just from changing a diaper.
So while I may not be as smart, pretty, confident, popular, or successful as some women, I have a pretty awesome life and the most amazing family anyone could ask for and I need to buck up and quit complaining so much about the little annoyances that I deal with on a regular basis. It's time to stop thinking the grass is greener elsewhere and enjoy the snow-covered grass I have right in my own backyard.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Timmyism #7 (and beyond)
As I type this, Timmy is sitting in the chair next to me absolutely annoying the crap out of me. He is supposed to be napping right now and instead of napping he is bouncing off the walls, wired on some sort of Kid Juice. He didn't fall asleep 'til around 10pm last night (too much excitement outside) and was up at 4am coughing and wide awake as can be. Natalie is napping and Timmy will not stop talking, fake-hiccuping and coughing, and making animal noises. Why is it when I specifically ask him to the quiet for rest time he is louder than when it's okay for him to be up and around and playing!?
Anyway, he's still full of silly things to say, so I thought I'd share some again.
[one] Last night while we were putting laundry away, Timmy found his toy phone and had a conversation after I told him his phone was ringing:
"Hello? Who dere? No thank you. I need a pizza. Yeah I want pepperoni. Okay. Bye."
He gets done ordering his pizza and goes into our room to pick it up and brings back his imaginary pizza to share with us.
[two] This last week he has been really been lovin' on his sister. They walk through the house together holding hands and Timmy says he is taking her for a walk to go visit Daddy. He tries to pick her up and carry her and hugs her to the point that she gets upset. Of course, this is in between all the hitting, pushing, and biting.
Anyway, he's still full of silly things to say, so I thought I'd share some again.
[one] Last night while we were putting laundry away, Timmy found his toy phone and had a conversation after I told him his phone was ringing:
"Hello? Who dere? No thank you. I need a pizza. Yeah I want pepperoni. Okay. Bye."
He gets done ordering his pizza and goes into our room to pick it up and brings back his imaginary pizza to share with us.
[two] This last week he has been really been lovin' on his sister. They walk through the house together holding hands and Timmy says he is taking her for a walk to go visit Daddy. He tries to pick her up and carry her and hugs her to the point that she gets upset. Of course, this is in between all the hitting, pushing, and biting.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Timmyism #6 (and more)
The Boy has been absolutely cracking us up lately! He says some of the funniest, most off-the-wall stuff sometimes. Sometimes what he says isn't funny, but how he says it is what makes us laugh.
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The other night we were having a very healthy Arby's dinner and some meat fell off of Timmy's sandwich. He picked up the meat and said, "Holy meat!"
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He and Natalie spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa C the other night and after we picked them up, all the way home Timmy kept talking about how he saw a tractor and it was beepin'. He's at the age where he repeats everything and even if you respond, he still keeps saying it. He kept saying, "It was beepin'. The tractor was beepin'. Something was beepin'. It was beepin'. It was beepin'."
Chris and I were trying to ignore him since we had already responded to this several times, but when Timmy said, "It was beepin'. Hoooooly beepin'," I totally lost it. I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard.
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Yesterday, I took Timmy with me to pick up their new car seats and Pink Floyd was on the radio.
"We love Pink Floyd!" I said to Timmy.
"I like Floyd. He's pink," Timmy replied. Goof.
On a related note, I taught Timmy how to say, "If you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"
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There have been many other funny things that Timmy has said recently, but I can't think of them at the moment. I do know that at dinner last night I said something and he responed with, "Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaat?"
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The other night we were having a very healthy Arby's dinner and some meat fell off of Timmy's sandwich. He picked up the meat and said, "Holy meat!"
*****************************
He and Natalie spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa C the other night and after we picked them up, all the way home Timmy kept talking about how he saw a tractor and it was beepin'. He's at the age where he repeats everything and even if you respond, he still keeps saying it. He kept saying, "It was beepin'. The tractor was beepin'. Something was beepin'. It was beepin'. It was beepin'."
Chris and I were trying to ignore him since we had already responded to this several times, but when Timmy said, "It was beepin'. Hoooooly beepin'," I totally lost it. I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard.
******************************
Yesterday, I took Timmy with me to pick up their new car seats and Pink Floyd was on the radio.
"We love Pink Floyd!" I said to Timmy.
"I like Floyd. He's pink," Timmy replied. Goof.
On a related note, I taught Timmy how to say, "If you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"
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There have been many other funny things that Timmy has said recently, but I can't think of them at the moment. I do know that at dinner last night I said something and he responed with, "Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaat?"
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Lots of Randoms
[one] This has been...a week...
The week started off with Timmy just having the worst attitude ever! Last week he ran a high fever for about three days straight and then it went away as quickly as it came. He had no other symptoms with the fever - just the fever. We suspect his attutide might have been him still not feeling great. He would cry over every little thing and was argumentative, cranky, and naughty.
The last couple of days have been better with him, aside from him stealing candy for breakfast yesterday and losing his outside to play privileges. We are so worn out on his overall attitude and lack of sleep and are so ready for a break...which leads me to....
[two] We get to go away!
Chris has a meeting or a reception or something random that is work-related going on in Detroit tomorrow night and we worked it out so that I could go with him! We will stay in a hotel overnight and come back on Saturday. Huge thank yous to Grandpa and Grandma C for taking the kiddos for us! They are excited, especially Timmy. He can't wait to go sledding with Grandma.
[three] Hyperthyroidism
I have been in the process of finally getting an answer to my bizarro pregnancy symptoms that go beyond the morning sickness and fatigue that most people suffer while pregnant.
In all three pregnancies I have experienced a significant weight loss of around 20 pounds each time - and this time has been even more than 20. I am extremely short of breath even if I just stand for more than a minute. I can walk across the room and feel like I am going to pass out, and at times I get very dizzy. Showering is the worst. I'm not sure if it's the heat from the water or the fact that I stand for so long while showering, but I get really dizzy and short of breath during my showers. Another issue I have is itching. I thought I was having a dry skin problem, but this was all over itching that couldn't be tamed even if I lathered on the lotion. This is intense itching that can bring me to tears if it keeps going on. There's also the TMI issue of having the poos nonstop all through my pregnancies. And don't even get me started on the fatigue! I've mentioned before that I feel like I can't get enough sleep and I sleep like the dead - it's just ridiculous how much exhaustion consumes me sometimes and for no reason at all.
So I talked to my ob about it at my last appointment and he sent me for some labwork. My TSH came back at 0.06 which is a sign of Hyperthyroidism - something that causes all of these symptoms - all of the symptoms that Dr. Uh Oh never paid attention to and would respond, "That's weird," when I'd tell her about them. I went back a couple days ago to have get a T4 test done. I'm still waiting for the results on that.
I'm really hoping to finally have an answer to all of my troubles and hopefully something can be done to lessen the symptoms. Don't get me wrong, I could stand to lose a few pounds - but not while I'm pregnant!
The week started off with Timmy just having the worst attitude ever! Last week he ran a high fever for about three days straight and then it went away as quickly as it came. He had no other symptoms with the fever - just the fever. We suspect his attutide might have been him still not feeling great. He would cry over every little thing and was argumentative, cranky, and naughty.
The last couple of days have been better with him, aside from him stealing candy for breakfast yesterday and losing his outside to play privileges. We are so worn out on his overall attitude and lack of sleep and are so ready for a break...which leads me to....
[two] We get to go away!
Chris has a meeting or a reception or something random that is work-related going on in Detroit tomorrow night and we worked it out so that I could go with him! We will stay in a hotel overnight and come back on Saturday. Huge thank yous to Grandpa and Grandma C for taking the kiddos for us! They are excited, especially Timmy. He can't wait to go sledding with Grandma.
[three] Hyperthyroidism
I have been in the process of finally getting an answer to my bizarro pregnancy symptoms that go beyond the morning sickness and fatigue that most people suffer while pregnant.
In all three pregnancies I have experienced a significant weight loss of around 20 pounds each time - and this time has been even more than 20. I am extremely short of breath even if I just stand for more than a minute. I can walk across the room and feel like I am going to pass out, and at times I get very dizzy. Showering is the worst. I'm not sure if it's the heat from the water or the fact that I stand for so long while showering, but I get really dizzy and short of breath during my showers. Another issue I have is itching. I thought I was having a dry skin problem, but this was all over itching that couldn't be tamed even if I lathered on the lotion. This is intense itching that can bring me to tears if it keeps going on. There's also the TMI issue of having the poos nonstop all through my pregnancies. And don't even get me started on the fatigue! I've mentioned before that I feel like I can't get enough sleep and I sleep like the dead - it's just ridiculous how much exhaustion consumes me sometimes and for no reason at all.
So I talked to my ob about it at my last appointment and he sent me for some labwork. My TSH came back at 0.06 which is a sign of Hyperthyroidism - something that causes all of these symptoms - all of the symptoms that Dr. Uh Oh never paid attention to and would respond, "That's weird," when I'd tell her about them. I went back a couple days ago to have get a T4 test done. I'm still waiting for the results on that.
I'm really hoping to finally have an answer to all of my troubles and hopefully something can be done to lessen the symptoms. Don't get me wrong, I could stand to lose a few pounds - but not while I'm pregnant!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Timmy the Terrible
I feel like I'm at a loss as to what to do with Timmy. This kid has no middle-ground. He is either really well-behaved, sweet, and charming or he is the exact opposite - words I don't ever want to use to describe my little boy.
When he's good he's a dream child. He plays well on his own, he uses manners, and he's friendly and sociable. He says clever and witty things and no one believes me that he can be an unholy terror.
Then there's how he's acted lately - nonstop whining, crying, yelling, spitting, arguing, interrupting, loud, and obnoxious. He's rude and sneaky. Tonight he cried over every little thing - he wanted Daddy to read a book, not Mommy, he didn't want to wear a bib, Natalie touched his toys. Normally I'd write it off as him being tired from not napping, but he took a good nap today.
Night time is terrible right now and I'm not much help. I feel so bad that I am useless at night, but pregnancy is exhausting and I physically sleep like the dead right now. When I'm not pregnant I have a much easier time getting up to help in the night and in the morning, but right now I feel paralyzed if I wake up in the night and I'm pretty much half-asleep trying to function.
Timmy has nights where he refuses to go to sleep. Thankfully it's not every night, but on the nights when he refuses it is such a pain because the first thing he does is climb into Natalie's crib and wake her up. We can usually get her to go right back to sleep, but if Timmy does this two or three times a night, it really messes both of their nights up.
Then, somewhere around very early morning, four or five, he gets up and climbs into bed with us. Some nights this isn't a big deal because he will either go right back to sleep or we can snuggle for a few minutes then tuck him back into his own bed with no issue - but the last few mornings have been hell. He comes into bed with us, tosses and turns, keeping us both up. We try to tuck him back into his bed, but instead he wakes Natalie up, either by talking very loudly or by climbing into the crib with her. We've tried gating him off and have a "fence" across his room, but he has figured out how to bypass that so it's rendered relatively useless.
So basically, we all get little to no sleep from about five til "morning." Well, I get more sleep than the others, but it's interrupted and not very peaceful. I am trying to be more helpful to Chris and am so grateful that he is the one that deals with this issue on a regular basis. I just wish we could all get a good night's sleep...even if it's just for one night.
When he's good he's a dream child. He plays well on his own, he uses manners, and he's friendly and sociable. He says clever and witty things and no one believes me that he can be an unholy terror.
Then there's how he's acted lately - nonstop whining, crying, yelling, spitting, arguing, interrupting, loud, and obnoxious. He's rude and sneaky. Tonight he cried over every little thing - he wanted Daddy to read a book, not Mommy, he didn't want to wear a bib, Natalie touched his toys. Normally I'd write it off as him being tired from not napping, but he took a good nap today.
Night time is terrible right now and I'm not much help. I feel so bad that I am useless at night, but pregnancy is exhausting and I physically sleep like the dead right now. When I'm not pregnant I have a much easier time getting up to help in the night and in the morning, but right now I feel paralyzed if I wake up in the night and I'm pretty much half-asleep trying to function.
Timmy has nights where he refuses to go to sleep. Thankfully it's not every night, but on the nights when he refuses it is such a pain because the first thing he does is climb into Natalie's crib and wake her up. We can usually get her to go right back to sleep, but if Timmy does this two or three times a night, it really messes both of their nights up.
Then, somewhere around very early morning, four or five, he gets up and climbs into bed with us. Some nights this isn't a big deal because he will either go right back to sleep or we can snuggle for a few minutes then tuck him back into his own bed with no issue - but the last few mornings have been hell. He comes into bed with us, tosses and turns, keeping us both up. We try to tuck him back into his bed, but instead he wakes Natalie up, either by talking very loudly or by climbing into the crib with her. We've tried gating him off and have a "fence" across his room, but he has figured out how to bypass that so it's rendered relatively useless.
So basically, we all get little to no sleep from about five til "morning." Well, I get more sleep than the others, but it's interrupted and not very peaceful. I am trying to be more helpful to Chris and am so grateful that he is the one that deals with this issue on a regular basis. I just wish we could all get a good night's sleep...even if it's just for one night.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Let the Fighting Begin!
Natalie has started getting a backbone with Timmy. Yesterday morning she started poking Timmy in the chest yelling, "No! No! No!" Then she pushed him. I don't condone either of my children being physical with each other, but she owes him about 500 pushes, smacks, and hair pulls.
After their naps yesterday, I told Timmy he could watch some Thomas Train. They were having their snack when Natalie said, "Baba!" (Yo! Gabba Gabba) Timmy said, "No, Natalie! We gonna watch Thomas Train!" She looked at hime and yelled, "NO! BABA!" This went on for nearly five minutes. I thought it was funny that they finally had their first verbal argument.
After their naps yesterday, I told Timmy he could watch some Thomas Train. They were having their snack when Natalie said, "Baba!" (Yo! Gabba Gabba) Timmy said, "No, Natalie! We gonna watch Thomas Train!" She looked at hime and yelled, "NO! BABA!" This went on for nearly five minutes. I thought it was funny that they finally had their first verbal argument.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Another TMI Post
I told Chris this morning I wouldn't blog about this since he was disgusted by my other entry about puking. But over the course of the day, events have changed, so I am going to blog about it anyway because...well, sometimes it's too "good" to not blog about.
Our poor dog, Wriley, is sick. I have no idea what is going on with her. She did eat a couple of pizza crusts last night from our leftover dinner, but she has eaten scraps before and never had an issue - and she didn't eat that much.
She threw up three times this morning. It's just me and the kids, so I have to clean it up. As I'm cleaning up the first pile, I throw up...all over the puke. That's right, I puked on puke. Somehow I managed to clean up all the puke without puking again, the entire time Timmy is watching. I hate that he saw me throw up.
Wriley won't eat. She wouldn't eat her lunch. She's lazy every day, but today she is extra lazy. She still gets up when you call her, but she just lays around otherwise.
So, after all this laying around and not eating, she gets up and throws up again...twice. This time I'm smart. I puke in a bag while I clean up the dog vomit.
Yesterday was a good day. I didn't throw up at all!
I am seriously so sick of being sick! Happy thirteen weeks to me.
Our poor dog, Wriley, is sick. I have no idea what is going on with her. She did eat a couple of pizza crusts last night from our leftover dinner, but she has eaten scraps before and never had an issue - and she didn't eat that much.
She threw up three times this morning. It's just me and the kids, so I have to clean it up. As I'm cleaning up the first pile, I throw up...all over the puke. That's right, I puked on puke. Somehow I managed to clean up all the puke without puking again, the entire time Timmy is watching. I hate that he saw me throw up.
Wriley won't eat. She wouldn't eat her lunch. She's lazy every day, but today she is extra lazy. She still gets up when you call her, but she just lays around otherwise.
So, after all this laying around and not eating, she gets up and throws up again...twice. This time I'm smart. I puke in a bag while I clean up the dog vomit.
Yesterday was a good day. I didn't throw up at all!
I am seriously so sick of being sick! Happy thirteen weeks to me.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A Post About Puke
I'm sure you're all anxious to read this one, so I better get to it. Internet, this is my boy, Timmy. Kid is two, almost three, and at the stage where he really enjoys gross things. Boogers? Fun. Burping? Fun. Farting? Fun. Sticking fingers in poo? Fun. Chewing food then spitting it out? Fun. Every little detail of his life right now is gross and puke-worthy.
I really thought I was coming out of the morning sickness stage, but for the last two days every little thing that Timmy has done has literally made me vomit. Yesterday he chewed up some fruit bar then pulled it out of his mouth and tried to hand it to me. My reaction? I puked.
Today he had a doosy of a twosie. My reaction? I puked. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of changing his diaper and here is where it gets really gross - I swallowed it. It was either puke in the poop, then probably puke some more, or swallow it. I wasn't about to let a two-year old with a butt covered in poo run around the house while I was off vomiting.
Why am I telling you this story? Well, perhaps there is someone out there really wanting to get pregnant but really shouldn't have kids. Maybe hearing about the joys of puking while pregnant will serve as good birth control.
Seriously, I never puked this much or this long with either of my other pregnancies. I was not prepared for this. I better be giving birth to the world's most perfect baby for all the icky sickies this child is putting me through.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Fed up.
I am fed up. I'm just done. The last two days my anxiety is through the roof. I can see ppd settling in for a nice long stay after this baby arrives. I'll be back on Satan's Drug and end up fatter than before, ugly, and worthless. I can't stop yelling at the kids and it takes all I have in me to not raise a hand at them.
I'm not kidding. My skin is crawling with anxiety right now and any time either one of them come near I instantly push them away, physically, but I cannot handle touch right now. I am hungry, all the time, but I can't eat. First, I can't eat because most of the time anything that goes in my mouth tries to come right back out. Second, if I even get a chance to eat I have two little turds begging at me and crying at me for me to give them my food - even if I eat with them, Timmy grabs food from my plate. Eating is a waste of time because I don't get to actually eat when I try. It's pointless to even bother.
I can't drink water. This baby is going to come out weighing like three pounds and will be so malnourished because I can't drink water to keep hydrated. I'm going to end up with this baby taken away because I will be accused to not taking care of myself while pregnant, thus making my baby failure to thrive. When do I get the chance to take care of myself?
I am fed up with the climbing. Natalie will not stop climbing on things and then knocking things down and then falling down and whatever else she can manage to do. I figured the novelty of being able to climb would have worn off by now, but it's nowhere near being done.
I am fed up with not having anywhere to put any of my hobbies. If I want to crochet I have to keep all my stuff in the basement. There isn't even anywhere to put the kids coloring books or crayons unless we keep it in the basement. Basically, if it's in the basement it doesn't get used.
I am also fed up with the insane love of taking nice pictures that I have. If I didn't like taking pictures I wouldn't have the need for a DSLR and then I wouldn't have to be jealous of the people who have nice cameras. And I wouldn't be ashamed of the pictures I take.
I blame all of this on being hungry. If I could eat and get full, I think I'd be happier.
I'm not kidding. My skin is crawling with anxiety right now and any time either one of them come near I instantly push them away, physically, but I cannot handle touch right now. I am hungry, all the time, but I can't eat. First, I can't eat because most of the time anything that goes in my mouth tries to come right back out. Second, if I even get a chance to eat I have two little turds begging at me and crying at me for me to give them my food - even if I eat with them, Timmy grabs food from my plate. Eating is a waste of time because I don't get to actually eat when I try. It's pointless to even bother.
I can't drink water. This baby is going to come out weighing like three pounds and will be so malnourished because I can't drink water to keep hydrated. I'm going to end up with this baby taken away because I will be accused to not taking care of myself while pregnant, thus making my baby failure to thrive. When do I get the chance to take care of myself?
I am fed up with the climbing. Natalie will not stop climbing on things and then knocking things down and then falling down and whatever else she can manage to do. I figured the novelty of being able to climb would have worn off by now, but it's nowhere near being done.
I am fed up with not having anywhere to put any of my hobbies. If I want to crochet I have to keep all my stuff in the basement. There isn't even anywhere to put the kids coloring books or crayons unless we keep it in the basement. Basically, if it's in the basement it doesn't get used.
I am also fed up with the insane love of taking nice pictures that I have. If I didn't like taking pictures I wouldn't have the need for a DSLR and then I wouldn't have to be jealous of the people who have nice cameras. And I wouldn't be ashamed of the pictures I take.
I blame all of this on being hungry. If I could eat and get full, I think I'd be happier.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Internet, I'd like you to meet
Baby Tres!
I've been not blogging lately because I wanted to avoid spilling the beans until we were ready to tell.
Baby is a total surprise but very much welcomed. I am 11w 4d and still struggling with morning sickness on a pretty regular basis. I am showing already compared to taking forever to get a bump with Timmy and Natalie. And before anyone points it out to me, I am well aware of the fact that it isn't actually uterus that is showing. Thanks.
This pregnancy pretty much started out like my other pregnancies - precarious and scary. I tend to bleed a lot while pregnant. I have a new ob this time around who is a vast improvement over Dr. Uh Oh. I've been in for several ultrasounds already to try and find a cause for the bleeding and for the first time in three pregnancies I have an answer - a subchorionic hematoma. Basically that is a tear in the uterus that causes bleeding. It can cause miscarriage if it doesn't get reabsorbed or bled out. Thankfully, in my case, it bled out and at my last ultrasound there was no sign of the bleed. Whew!
I have an edd of july 21, 2011. Duh. I guess you didn't need the year as I am not an elephant. At this point I am just praying the morning sickness goes away soon.
I've been not blogging lately because I wanted to avoid spilling the beans until we were ready to tell.
Baby is a total surprise but very much welcomed. I am 11w 4d and still struggling with morning sickness on a pretty regular basis. I am showing already compared to taking forever to get a bump with Timmy and Natalie. And before anyone points it out to me, I am well aware of the fact that it isn't actually uterus that is showing. Thanks.
This pregnancy pretty much started out like my other pregnancies - precarious and scary. I tend to bleed a lot while pregnant. I have a new ob this time around who is a vast improvement over Dr. Uh Oh. I've been in for several ultrasounds already to try and find a cause for the bleeding and for the first time in three pregnancies I have an answer - a subchorionic hematoma. Basically that is a tear in the uterus that causes bleeding. It can cause miscarriage if it doesn't get reabsorbed or bled out. Thankfully, in my case, it bled out and at my last ultrasound there was no sign of the bleed. Whew!
I have an edd of july 21, 2011. Duh. I guess you didn't need the year as I am not an elephant. At this point I am just praying the morning sickness goes away soon.
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